People tend to have quarrels and misunderstanding every day. It is even said that if a couple doesn’t brawl, there is probably no love between them (though I personally don’t thinks so, as a quarrel is just a sign that you have different points of view on an issue or you are just too irritated). So, the best way to cope with a quarrel is to avoid it and to stay calm so that the storm calms down itself. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t work, and shouting still burst out, the way of behaving should be quite another.
Quarrel of course starts because of anger which one of partners feels. So, you just need to allow your significant one let the steam out. Yes, you will have to keep yourself in hands, but if you don’t want to continue arguing for too long, just wait until the silence comes back itself.
If you still decide to join discussion, point out that you have your own views on situation. If you make a stress on this, your opponent will be not so aggressive, as you will show that you want to take part in this situation and to remove it as less painful as possible. Such behavior is usually appreciated subconsciously.
Always keep in mind that if you want to understand a person, you need to imagine yourself on her place. You will ay once understand what is wrong and how you should act. Besides, try to remember how you personally would like to be treated in such case. This will also help you much.
If you can’t get rid of anger and can’t stop yourself feeling irritated, try to remember why you love your significant one. Recall some happy moment which will make you smile, as you both were happy and surely were not arguing at some useless mess. Love is what unites you and will never allow you to separate.
The goal of arguing is not to prove that you are the leader and that you are the only one who is right. The goal is to come to mutual understanding, so you should look for a compromise instead of shouting that your opinion is the only correct and acceptable.
Don’t say everything you have in your head at the moment. Your anger may produce really awful thoughts which can harm your relations even more than the quarrel itself. Filter every word you are going to tell, and never go personal.
The final useful way to stop arguing is to keep silent. Completely silent. When your partner sees that there is no companion to continue the quarrel, everything would probably calm down. But in any case, don’t forget to discuss what has happened when you both feel calm.