Today we will talk about your expectations. Once I was told that people hear things, they want to hear; see things, they want to see; believe in what they want to believe. There is no sense to try to change their minds, it is like trying to convince the wind not to blow.

To tell the truth, despite the advice I have tried to do it few times in my life. I was polite and very careful, never shared information and did my best not to hurt the man’s feelings. Every time, I was asked advice about this or that woman and her actions, I turned on my inner “Henry Kissinger” button and did my best to guide the situation as best as possible. Ask me if it ever worked? No, it did not.

All these events lead me to write this article. So… What do I mean about Realistic Expectations?
It is the necessity to be OBJECTIVE about yourself. Yes, it is not easy, who says it is? Both – men and women – do not like to see their flaws. They justify them. Close their eyes on them. Avoid noticing them. In other words – lie to themselves. Oops.. so awkward, isn’t it?

The most important thing to understand before we start is this:
It is quite difficult to find your true soul-mate or compatible match, anywhere, the internet is no different. The internet dating arena is vast, filled with people of different morals, religions, goals, values and preferences.
You were hurt, taken advantage of, betrayed lied to, made to feel a fool? Sorry to tell you this… so what? Get over it, or give up. You are not unique. Both men and women have many stories about dishonesty and betrayal that has been inflicted upon them by the opposite sex. So no need to tell the new lady, how your faith is shaken in internet dating. Trust me, hers is too. The internet is not a site where angels gather to stroke each others ego’s. Therefore my advice is to avoid discussing who is worse online, the men or the women, both are guilty of bad representations. Put it behind you and move on, or you will surely jeopardize any chance you may have with the new woman you are interested in.

Women in Ukraine are not desperate, as it was said in previous article. They have good education, manners; very often – normal job with normal salary. They do not try to escape from Ukraine for anyone and anywhere. They are looking for a soul-mate. For a man, who would be around her age (+10-15 years maximum). The man, who’s interests would be at least around hers. The man, who would appreciate her, respect her and treat her like a Lady. Ukrainian women are looking for the same as Western men. And both expectations must be fair.

Now let us begin, I warn you I will not pull my punches on this one, so be prepared before continuing to read. This is the most important advice I can give:
Realistic expectations:
1) Evaluate why you are really here
– For true love
– For companionship in life
– For a penpal or friendship
– For fun
– Curiosity
Then be honest with yourself, take the time to evaluate and know the REAL reason you are here. Then be honest with the lady, she will receive this news better than you expect. Chances are she already knows, so be upfront and polite and allow her to decide if she would like to continue on the terms as you propose. Ladies are far more perceptive than you may think, and even if they are quiet, the chances are they see your REAL reason for being here. By being honest you will find what you are looking for. The beauty of the internet is that you will find what you are looking for. The secret is, to know what it is that you want. Once you have done this, you will also easily be able to identify real intentions from bad ones. Yes such people are here, it is not a fairyland, filled with innocent ladies waiting for a hero. Neither is it a hell filled with demons. It is simply the same as life, so know what you search for and evaluate each new meeting according to my guide above.

2) Judge yourself fairly
– Is she charming, young, witty and has the body of a goddess. Unless you are the same, in most cases, no you do not have a realistic chance with her. We as Ukrainian women do not in general have fetishes for old or overweight men.
– Where you a Greek God, and life of the party 30 years ago, then please accept that unless you have a time machine, those days have left you. Yes you will have interesting stories, but she will not see the man you once were.
– Yes each person sees beauty differently, so she might like you for your smile, or your heart. But lets be honest ok? This is the exception to the rule.

3) Age is not a problem
– This statement is true, but within limitations. An 18 year old is not interested in a 60 plus gentleman. Just think back to your own life. When you were 18 did you chase after grannies, as you found them irresistibly sexy? Again in most cases the answer is a firm NO.
– Age is not a problem generally implies a 10 to 15 year gap is acceptable. Unless you are insanely rich, Hugh Hefner, or a celebrity then maybe, however this is not going to last, and will not end well. If this is what you are looking for, a young trophy, then accept the problems that will accompany this. If you are here for love, this is not the path to follow, but, you already know this. Now admit it out loud to yourself. And start your search with fresh eyes.

4) Children
– Most Ukrainian ladies are family oriented and want children and a family of their own, if you have done your research then you will already know this.
– If you are not interested in children and do not have any then make it clear on your profile. Also be prepared that you will limit yourself drastically due to the points above. However should you lie, trust me, it will come out in the end and NO, she will not simply forgive you.
– If you have children, then why exclude a woman who does from your search. A woman without children will not readily raise yours.
– If you are 40 plus and without children, be honest about the reasons for it.

5) Common interests
– If she has a six pack, and gym body, she clearly enjoys an active lifestyle. If your idea of the great outdoors is drinking wine on the patio. This will not be a match. If you do not care what you wear and she has a discount card for brand-clothes shops… If the best vacation for you is mountain hiking or fishing and hers – a beach resort, where she would lay under the sun for a week. You have different interests. It matters not she is a Goddess, the chances are it will not progress. Rather walk away in the start and save both you and her time. Your interests are simply too different.

6) Manners
– A lady will always respond well to good manners. My advice is to treat them like you would want a man to treat your mother. If a woman has treated you badly or been rude to you in the past, as I said earlier, put it behind you. It was not this lady. Do not punish her for others sins, you will lose your chance before you start.
– Always be polite and respectful, this is very important to Ukrainian ladies. We ourselves in general are very polite and to us a mark of a real man is the way he treats his woman. He should treat her with kindness and respect, she will surely reciprocate.
– Showing kindness does not mean to shower with gifts, or be soft like a woman, Be a man, be a strong man who can protect but also caress.

7) Listen
Pay attention to what she writes
– if a lady says lets be friends, then gentleman, this meaning is international. You will not convince her with time by showing her your heart. This is life not a Hollywood Romcom. She is simply telling you that you may be sweet and nice but you are NOT her type, trust me, this will not change.
– Ukrainian ladies as I said before are polite, so they will not often or quickly tell you, listen here guy, I am not interested, it is considered rude, so they will tell you and show you in other ways.
– If they do not like something, they will usually not answer, that is the answer.
– Do not now use what I said to constantly ask if she likes you, this is considered in Ukraine as the action of a woman, loving with ears. If she keeps coming to chat, you will see if she is excited when she chats to you, pay attention and win her, all women want this,it is international.
– If you pay attention you will quickly see if she is not interested, if she is not or you not sure ask once and watch. And then be honest with yourself, and remember my words, it will not change

8) Be modest
– You have a good body, she does not need to see it in every photo, and will not appreciate it on your profile. These things are for private, dress well for your photos for profile and she will notice if you take care of yourself or not
– Be yourself, if you wear shorts and track pants, then show that on your profile, lies are the worst way to start
– You have money, congratulations! Unless you want that trophy wife we spoke about earlier, she does not need to know about all your wealth and how much money you can spend in a weekend.
– Know the line between sharing and bragging, nobody enjoys a man who constantly tries to prove himself, or how great he is, if you are so in love with yourself then why are you online, marry yourself ))

9) You are unique just like everyone else
– You are not the best man on site, maybe you are the best for her, but SHE will decide that. These words, I am the best on site is the best way to lose a lady.
– You are not the first to treat her well,or even treat her badly, you just another man that she is talking to and seeing what can happen, I suggest you take the same approach
– You not the only honest guy online, all claim this
– You not the youngest, you not the only from your country, you not the only anyone, just like she is not either, you simply 2 people looking online for a partner
– You are so proud of your boy that you want her to see it, guess what many feel the same way. Do not do it!!!

So, to make a happy end in your story, BE HONEST with yourself. Make the REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. Do not close your eyes on your evident flaws. Do not judge the next woman by your previous. Do not complain and be brave to make decisions.